Welcome to Hollywood Video. Is there anything I can help you find today?

Yes, it's official. Officially official. You are currently reading the words of a Hollywood Video employee. So, on top of starting college (um ... tommorow, actually), I'm starting a new job. Not to mention that I'm also now writing for The Mast, PLU's weekly paper.

So, you can imagine that I don't exactly have a lot of free time.

I promise that I'll start consistently updating in the next couple weeks. It's just hard for me to find the time right now for Mattinee.

I miss you guys.

... and I hope you miss me too.

An Update ...

Alright, so my interview.

NAILED IT.

I really hit it off with the manager, a really cool guy named Jerry. I got there early for my interview, which gave me and him plenty of time to talk movies. I think he decided he wanted to hire me before the interview even started. He asked my top four favorite films (Raiders of the Lost Ark, The Empire Strikes Back, Jaws, Blade Runner), and we had a geeky discussion about why Empire is the superior Star Wars film. We really hit it off. He seemed like a really great guy.

I'm looking forward to working for him.

Anyway, it's not official. I still have a group interview, which is next week, before I find out if I'm hired. But, based on this interview, I think I have a new job.

Thanks for all the support!

Wish me luck ...

Hey folks.

Employment. Some people get all the luck with jobs ... and some don't. I wouldn't consider myself one or the other, having only held one job and holding said job for two and-a-half weeks. I don't have a lot of experience. But I know enough to know the difference between a good job and a bad job. Quiznos (my former employer) wasn't the best job.

Hollywood Video? Potentially my part-time, minimum-wage dream job. You're around movies all day. You get to tell people that Crash was horrible, and that they should instead pick up Glory. You get 10 free rentals a week.

10. FREE. RENTALS.

Anyway, I have an interview there tommorow. Wish me luck folks. If you could steer some positive thoughts in my direction at about 4:00 -- possibly have a candle vigil with some church friends -- that'd be great.

Also, sorry for lack of updates. Been very busy lately, with all kinds of crap. College is starting soon. Once I get my first month out of the way, get my schedule under my belt, get settled in a job ... updates will pick up and reviews will come regularly.

Anyway, thanks.

Snakes on a Plane (Ellis, 2006)

****1/2
There are two types of people in this world: those who would enjoy Snakes on a Plane, and those who wouldn't.

I pity the latter.

Last night, I had the privelege -- nay, the honor -- of seeing Snakes on a Plane at the 10:00 sneak preview, an event prophesized by the Bible as the second coming of the Messiah. Flanked on all sides by friends and fellow Snakes anticipators, I experienced, in all of its splendid glory, one of the most mind-blowingly awesome movies of the decade. Snakes was hyped to the point of Godlike existence, but it delivers in copious amounts everything it promises: plenty of snakes, a plane full of expendable passengers, and Samuel L. Jackson.

The film is beautiful in its simplicity. In fact, a plot synopsis really isn't necessary. But for the sake of clarity, I suppose I can break it down for you. Sean (Nathan Phillips) is a man who, after witnessing a murder by Eddie Kim (Byron Lawson), finds himself under the protection of FBI Agent Nelville Flynn (Jackson). The two board a plane for L.A., where Sean will testify against the crimeboss. But after hundreds of poisonous snakes are released on the plane, it's up to Nelville and the dwindling passengers and crew to guide the plane home.

Snakes on a Plane is one of the few films today that actually lives up to the hype. In an age when movies disappoint with failed expectations and broken promises, its comforting when films like Snakes on a Plane are released.

The only reason I marked it down a half a star is because I don't see Snakes as being as fufillingly entertaining on DVD, or in an empty theater. The best way to experience the majesty of Snakes is with a group of friends, in a crowded theater, late at night, with an open mind and a wide grin.

That's exactly how I went into it, and I loved every second of it. Every disgustingly wicked kill, every Sam Jackson one-liner ("I've had it with these mother f***ing snakes on this mutha f***ing plane!"). Every scene is just dripping with pure awesome.

Yes, it's a dumbly simple premise. And yes, it's a little far-fetched and silly; even a little stupid. But it doesn't try to be anything other than what it should be: snakes on a plane, and it succeeds in everything it sets out to do.

Lack of Updates = I suck

Once again, I find myself apologizing to my readers. I'm sorry, again, for the lack of updates. As summer draws to a close, I find myself busy and somewhat tired -- unmotivated, I believe is the term.

Normality should return a some point in the next few days, and I promise I'll get a couple reviews up.

Thanks for your patience. You guys are the best.

Video Blog: The Final Word and a Birthday

Thanks

Today wasn't half-bad.

Yes, I was bombarded by hateful comments ... and for a while, I was a bit down about the whole thing. But then, something happened. Something miraculous.

A whole slew of readers and supporters, people I didn't know even read my blog, sent me emails and left me comments to cheer me up. It's times like these that I'm thankful for my readers.

The amount of support I recieved today far outweighed the negative comments I recieved. You guys are awesome.

And so I raise a goblet to you, the readers. You truly keep me going, and you make me strive to be a better writer every day. I appreciate each and every one of you.

Also, for the record, I did recieve a few apologies from the YouTube users who left me nasty comments. Though I don't condone insulting someone over the internet, they did do right by apologizing. I appreciate them as well.

So, once again, thanks. I'm off to bed.

A Response to My Halo Haters

Not the best morning ...

Alright, so I wake up this morning at my usual time (10:30). I shower, brush my teeth, and get dressed. I then proceed to check my email and blog comments, as I do every morning. And what do I find? About four or five comments on both my blog and on my YouTube account, where I host my video blogs. At first, I was excited. That's a lot of comments for one night.

But then I read them.

They were all hateful, negative comments. The comment left on my Clerks II review was so inappropriate, I opted to delete it (members of my family read this blog, after all). For the record, it was something to the effect of "you're moron. Get a life and stop reviewing movies. Nobody cares what you think, get a girlfriend," only with copious amounts of swearing.

Even if the comment was coming from some idiot spammer with nothing better to do than bring people down over the internet, it was a bit hurtful to read that first thing in the morning. I then checked my YouTube comments, which were all pertaining to my last video blog, the one about the Halo film.

Five negative comments, two of which refer to me as a moron or an idiot. Why did they decide to do this? I don't know. It really irks me when people decide that the internet isn't a place for discussion, and proceed to just randomly insult people with differing opinions.

I responded to all the comments there. I simply thanked the users for their comments, and encouraged them to engage in intelligent discussion, rather than inane name calling. I haven't heard back from them, nor do I expect to and nor do I care to.

This is really the first time this has happened in this magnitude. I find that, when I do recieve a negative comment, I usually have two or three positive ones to keep me in a good mood. But I woke up this morning to nothing but hurtful attacks.

Am I going to let it ruin my day? No, of course not. I'm going to buy the Brick DVD while I'm out today, which should cheer my up indefinitely. The comments do sting a bit, though, and I hope to not have to wake up to an inbox full of nasty idiot comments again the near future.

Video Blog Edition: Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Love Halo

Please excuse the buzzing. The camera mic picked up the hum of my fan.

The Machinist (Anderson, 2004)

***1/2
There is a cliché in cinema that is used frequently and with reckless abandon in psychological thrillers. It’s a cliché utilized in films like Fight Club, Insomnia, and the recent Primer. It’s a tired old gimmick, and one that makes me roll my eyes whenever I see it.

I’m not going to explain this cliché, because then I would ruin the twists in the above mentioned films. And I would also ruin the ending of Brad Anderson’s The Machinist. The difference between The Machinist and any other film that uses the mentioned plot device is that The Machinist is an exceedingly well-crafted film, with strong performances that carry the plot along and prevent the film from falling flat.

Trevor Reznik (Christian Bale) hasn’t slept in a year. Exhausted, depressed and weighing in at a skeletal 121 pounds (Bale lost 80 pounds for the role), Trevor is in a bad state. His call-girl love interest (Jennifer Jason Leigh) worries there’s something seriously wrong with him. “Don’t I look ok?” he asks her. But the fact is, Trevor isn’t ok. As increasingly bizarre things start happening around him, as he begins conversing with a deformed man no one else can see, Trevor begins to question his own sanity.

The Machinist is a dark, somber film and a first-rate psychological thriller. The performance from Bale is just fantastic – he is utterly believable as the deeply troubled, mentally scarred man on the edge.

The cinematography in the film is terrific. Painted in great strokes of washed-out gray tones, splashed here and there with dazzling splashes of color. It’s a great looking film.

Though the use of the mentioned gimmick does irk me, The Machinist was, none the less, a very enjoyable experience.

The Descent (Marshall, 2005)

****
In a time when good, solid horror cinema is hard to come by, films like The Descent leave me with hope for the future of the genre. The Descent is Neil Marshall’s highly anticipated followup to his 2002 cult hit Dog Soldiers. It’s a violent, claustrophobic, mind-warping, hide-behind-your-popcorn, scare-a-minute gore-fest of dizzyingly frightening magnitude.

Six women reunite for the first time after Sarah’s (Shauna Macdonald) husband and daughter are killed in a tragic accident. Juno (Natalie Mendoza) has gathered them all in the mountains for a spelunking expedition. Once inside the cave, the tunnel collapses and the women are left with no way out in an uncharted cavern. What’s more, there’s a whole slew of flesh-eating creatures called “crawlers” inhabiting the cave. As the friends try to survive, they begin to turn on one another, and Sarah struggles to keep her sanity.

The Descent has everything a successful horror flick needs – a feeling of closeness, of being trapped and isolated from help; a struggle to both stay alive and to stay together; terrifying creatures that are revolting and hideous, and yet disturbingly human; and last, but most importantly, an R-rating.

The distribution of R-rated films has slowed to a crawl in today’s Hollywood. Companies striving for the teenage market has resulted in a vast majority of horror and thriller films getting stuck with the limitations of a PG-13 rating. This makes for hollow, clumsy filmmaking.

Films like The Descent, a horror film with no boundaries, but with a filmmaker who knows how to utilize an appropriate amount of violence, gore and jumps, is a fantastic thing for horror fans.

The Descent is absurdly intense for the get-go. Even before the crawlers are introduced (in one of the most frightening images in the film), I was a mess. Marshall knows where to place the camera, where to situate the actors on the screen, how to utilize the audience’s reliance on horror clichés, to keep you good and terrified through the entirety of the film, even when there are no creatures on the screen.

There’s nothing worse than horror without substance, but the film doesn’t use its scares to carry it through. The Descent has an unexpected depth to it. However, I would have appreciated a little more development with the characters. I really felt like every character who wasn’t Sarah or Juno was completely expendable (and they are – oh, how very expendable they are).

The Descent sets out to do one simple thing, and that’s to cause the collective crapping of the audience’s pants. And though I didn’t soil myself (for which I’m very proud), I was scared witless by this film, and I consider it to be the most fear-provoking film I’ve seen in a very long time.

Horror has made its frighteningly glorious comeback in the form of The Descent.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (McKay, 2006)

***
Former SNL writer Adam McKay made his directorial debut with 2004's uproariously funny Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, and he's at it again with Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. Both films follow the life of a charming oaf (played by Will Ferrell on both accounts), who happens to be famous for the only thing he’s good at – in Anchorman, Ron Burgundy is a famous news anchor, and in Talladega Nights, Ricky Bobby is a legendary NASCAR driver.

Actually, if you really stop and think about it, the two films are almost identical in their plotlines. However, if you can get past the fact that you’re essentially watching the same movie you saw in 2004, Talladega Nights is a funny, compelling film.

Ricky Bobby (Ferrell) is a man with a passion for speed and a love of winning. With the aid for his lifelong friend and fellow driver, Cal Naughton (John C. Reilly), Ricky consistently comes in first. Loved by the fans, and adored by his wife and two sons (Walker and Texas Ranger), Ricky Bobby leads a life of speed and bliss.

But his life falls apart with the arrival of Frenchman Jean Girard (Sacha Baron Cohen), who is a champion Formula 1 driver back in Europe. After Jean breaks Ricky’s arm in a bar fight, Ricky loses to him in a race and crashes his car. His wife leaves him for Cal, and Ricky Bobby is left with nothing. At rock bottom, Ricky is reunited with his father (Gary Cole), and together they set out to conquer his fear of losing.

Talladega Nights has some very funny bits, as when Ricky has to tame a wild cougar as part of his father’s training, but it lacks any real memorable comedic moments. Nothing came close to the news team gang fight or the rendition of “Afternoon Delight” in Anchorman.

Will Ferrell is hilarious as always, and there’s some great supporting performances from John C. Reilly, Gary Cole, and Michael Clarke Duncan. But the strength of the charming performances wasn’t enough to keep me from comparing the film to Anchorman.

New directors face this test often, especially filmmakers with a successful debut like McKay had. Can their second film live up to the first? Is it as good? Better? Or is it a letdown, a disappointment with what we’ve come to expect. Talladega Nights is that film, but even more so, because it’s just so very similar to Anchorman.

But McKay has a good head for comedy, and the screenwriting pair of him and Ferrell really come up with some funny stuff. I hope to see the two of them work together again soon.

Talladega Nights: The Balld of Ricky Bobby is definitely a worthwhile comedy, and it keeps the chuckles coming. I simply hope that for his next film, McKay tries to do something different, and that he delivers a film that is both hilarious and unique.

Writer's Block

I feel I must apologize for the lack of updates.

I'm currently experiencing a horrible case of writer's block and I couldn't be more frustrated. It's getting to the point where everything I type is just pure nonsense. I mean, for God's sake, I'm having trouble typing this!

Anyway ... I have no idea how long this creative slump is going to last. Knowing me, it could be a couple weeks. I'll try to update if I feel a bit of writing energy, and I'll probably resort to videos for a bit.

Video Blog Edition: I'm unemployed and bored

Nothing of real consequence. I'll have a substantial video up next week. Stay tuned for more reviews.

Clerks II (Smith, 2006)

Clerks: *1/2
Clerks II: ***

Note: Because I reference the original Clerks several times in my review, I have included my rating for that film as well.

I am not a fan of Kevin Smith -- not of his films or of him personally. I find him to be a bit of prick, if you'll please excuse the term. I think he's cocky and self-indulgent, and his movies are dull, repetitive and childish.

However, he has managed to garner a large group of clingy fans who worship the ground he walks on. I consider myself an antipode to those people … a “hater,” if you will.

After hearing endless praise for Clerks, his first film, I decided to check it out. I found myself questioning the very existence of the film, I hated it so much. I couldn’t grasp the concept of it – it’s a film about two guys talking in a convenience store. Subplots and antics aside, that is the basic gist of the film. And though some may find that charming and quirky, I find it to be pretty uninteresting.

But I digress.

Clerks II picks up a decade after the last one ended, with Dante (Brian O'Halloran) and Randal (Jeff Anderson) still stuck in their dead-end jobs at the Quick-Stop convenience store. But when the Quick-Stop burns down (Randal left the coffee pot on), the two slackers are left to find new minimum-wage jobs. They find themselves working at Mooby’s, a McDonald’s-esque fast food joint (which was featured in Smith’s film Dogma).

Dante’s life is a bit different since we left him. He’s engaged to be married, and is planning on moving to Florida to start his life anew. But when he falls for his manager, Becky (Rosario Dawson), things get a bit complicated.

Clerks II, suffice to say, is a vastly better-made film than the original Clerks; the main difference being that SOMETHING ACTUALLY HAPPENS. There's this thing called a plot happening. With Clerks, we are given two characters that, throughout the course of an entire film, don’t develop at all. Some would call this unique. I call it bad filmmaking. With Clerks II, Dante and Randal actually resolve the conflict that arises. They develop as characters, and aren’t as two-dimensional and dull as they were in Clerks.

Smith’s signature brand of humor (translation: the humor of a 13-year-old boy) is still overwhelmingly present. However, there are a few genuinely funny scenes. In my favorite scene of the film, Randal gets into a heated argument with two geeks over which is the better trilogy, Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. One of the nerds gets so mad that he vomits.

Though the characters do make quite a bit of progress through the film, the ending of the movie is overly anti-climatic. And frankly, it makes this sequel a bit unnecessary. At the end of Clerks II, Dante and Randal are right back where they were ten years ago – the Quick-Stop convenience store. It's a very disappointing way to end a film.

Clerks II isn’t the masterful achievement some claim it is, but it is a better film than the original Clerks, and I’ll admit that I enjoyed it for the most part.

Hit counter added!

Due to requests made by several of my readers, I've put a hit counter on my blog. If you're interested, scroll down to the bottom of the page and you'll see it there. Cool, huh?

If this thing depresses me too much (five hits in two weeks, are you freaking kidding me?!) I'll take it down. But for now, there it is, in all it's glory.

It even matches the Mattinee color scheme, thanks to the magic of CSS code! StatCounter.com is hosting ... so, big thanks to them. It's a great, easy to use tool (and no, I am not being paid to write that -- though I kinda wish I was).

Great Movies: Apocalypse Now (Coppola, 1979)

In this new category of entry, I write a short little opinion on an older film that I've watched recently that I feel is a classic movie. Let me know what you guys think. First up is Francis Ford Coppola's masterpiece Apocalypse Now.











When most think of Francis Ford Coppola, they think of The Godfather. But my favorite Coppola film is Apocalypse Now – which is saying something; I consider The Godfather and The Godfather Part II to be masterful achievements of filmmaking, but Apocalypse Now is Coppola at his very best.

The film opens with one of the most striking images in modern cinema: a jungle of palm trees, swaying in the breeze. Suddenly, the muffled sound of a chopper, it’s rotor blades slicing through the air. It zooms past the frame, gone as quickly as it appeared. A second chopper follows, and a third.

Then, fire and smoke erupt from the tree line as the soundtrack kicks in. Napalm at work. The explosions blossom into the air like burning flowers. The sky ripples with the heat of the blaze as more choppers rocket past the frame.

Apocalypse Now is a beautiful movie to watch. The cinematography is some of the best in modern film. Coppola’s use of shadow on the character’s faces in the last few scenes is superbly surreal.

Martin Sheen is excellent as the lead, and Robert Duvall is fantastic in his charming, albeit small, role. But the real heart of the film is with the performance of Marlon Brando as Kurtz. We wait the entire film to see Kurtz, to hear him speak, and we are not in the least disappointed when we finally enter his camp. Brando is poetic and melodic, and yet so chillingly unsettling as Kurtz.

The film is truly one that you find yourself lost in. Halfway through, you realize that you’re not aware of your surroundings or even the people watching it with you. It’s a movie experience like no other, and it’s fantastic. Apocalypse Now is truly a classic film.