The Omen (Moore, 2006)

I was opposed to a remake of classic horror flick “The Omen” from the very beginning. Not only has the 1976 original film stood the test of time and proved to be superiorly frightening even today, but it’s also a staple of horror and thriller filmmaking. It was subtly creepy. A film that was violent without being gory and frightening without inducing heart attacks. It was a beautifully balanced film.

But now, with the remake, the filmmakers opt to throw subtlety and refinement out the window in exchange for taking the horror, the evil and the overall creepiness of the original film and shoving it down our throats with the clumsy abandon of a B-Movie.

Robert Thorn (Liev Schreiber) and his wife Kate (Julia Stiles) are young, attractive and wealthy. When Robert rushes to the hospital after receiving word of “complications” with his wife’s pregnancy, he finds that his newborn son has died during delivery. Kate doesn’t know yet, and Robert is stricken with grief. But a priest at the hospital offers Robert an alternative to telling his wife that their son has died – adopt the orphan Damien, an infant who lost his mother in childbirth. Robert agrees.

For a few years, everything is fine. Damien’s a cute enough kid – blue eyes, dark hair, cherubic face. His mother has no idea Damien isn’t her child, and the couple loves him like their own. But after he turns five, some crazy stuff starts happening. First, the nanny hangs herself from their terrace at Damien’s birthday party (much to the dismay of the parents of young children attending). Then, Damien becomes more and more detached from his parents. At one point, he panics and attacks his mother as the family approaches a church service. He grows exceedingly fond of his new nanny (Mia Farrow, who starred in 1968’s “Rosemary’s Baby,” another film about a demon child) and eventually turns on his parents all together, pushing his mom off a balcony. Now Robert has to make a choice – should he believe that his son is the spawn of Satan and kill the child? Or should he ignore the signs and put himself and his wife in possible danger?

The remainder of the film follows Robert and a cursed photographer (David Thewlis) as they trek across Europe, searching for clues of Damien’s unnatural birth and the coming of the Apocalypse.

As far as horror movies go, “The Omen” just doesn’t stack up. I was looking forward to at least a quality R-Rated thriller. Instead, I was left bored and disappointed. The films lacks any sense of nuance or tension, and the majority of its scares include brief flashes of frightening images (Damien holding a noose, a skeletal jackal, etc.) accompanied by loud noises. These moments succeed only in making the audience jump. They have absolutely no lasting affect on the audience.

The acting is terrible and uncommitted, the plot a cookie-cutter skeleton of the original. It lacks any substance. By the end, I could care less if Robert or Kate bit the dust. The performances of Schreiber and Stiles leave nothing for the audience to sympathize with.
If you’re thinking of seeing “The Omen,” do yourself a favor – rent the original. Of course, seeing Mia Farrow get hit full speed with a car is almost worth the price of admission.

The Final Verdict: 3/10