The movies I hate to love: guilty pleasures abound

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson fends off South American rebels in one of the many fantastic fight scenes in "The Rundown"
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They’re embarrassing to reveal, but even the most hardened elitist critic harbors a few of them deep within his shielded psyche. Shunned by society and left to survive in the bargain DVD bin at Wal-Mart, we simply can’t deny our love for them. They’re our guilty pleasures and I’m about to fess up to a few of my own.

The Rundown (Peter Berg, 2003): I’m going to star by dropping a rather large bombshell: I firmly believe that “The Rundown” is one of the best action movies of the new century. There, I said it. It’s innovatively fun and it never commits the cardinal sin of taking itself too seriously. “The Rundown” is criminally underappreciated, despite being rich with all the necessary ingredients for a spectacular action film. The fight scenes are fast and intense without becoming hectic or confusing, the performances are charming and likeable (Christopher Walken is fantastic as the sleazy villain), and it doesn’t rely on gratuitous explosions or boobs to entertain. Action films like “The Rundown” are becoming increasingly harder to find.

The Rock (Michael Bay, 1996): As a staunch, outspoken hater of hack director/producer Michael Bay, it pains me immensely to admit that I really like “The Rock.” Bay’s films are typically ripe with the stink of his grandiose self-importance, but “The Rock” miraculously succeeds as a first-rate action flick. The flimsy premise of the movie is firmly supported by the wonderfully over-the-top performances of Sean Connery, Nicholas Cage and Ed Harris, and the no-holds-barred action sequences supply copious amounts of mindless fun. Though I can’t say the same for any of Bay’s other movies (“Bay Boys II” might be one of the worst films in recent memory), “The Rock” is definitely worth swallowing my pride for.

The romanticized themes and garish dance numbers of "Moulin Rouge" somehow appeal to men as well. Go figure.
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Moulin Rouge (Baz Luhrmann, 2001): I don’t normally go for the whole romantic musical genre (unless we’re talking “Little Shop of Horrors”), but there’s something strangely appealing about “Moulin Rouge,” something that transcends the target audience (chamomile tea drinking, mascara running, bath robed women) and succeeds in entertaining guys as well. There’s a visual flair to the film, something undeniably fun and slick. The numbers aren’t your typical sap fests, but rather mixed n’ matched 80’s and 90’s love songs, spruced up in show tune fashion. It’s funny, charming and endearing. For “Moulin Rouge,” I’m more than willing to admit my undying love.

Cutthroat Island (Renny Harlin, 1995): In “Cutthroat Island,” a film by the director of “Cliffhanger,” Geena Davis and Matthew Modine play swashbuckling pirates on a quest to recover a treasure from the hands of that guy who played Skeletor in the “Masters of the Universe” movie. When taken at face-value, “Cutthroat Island” is an absolute recipe for disaster, and it only takes roughly twenty minutes of Geena Davis wielding cutlasses and firing off flintlock pistols for you to realize that the film is pretty ridiculous. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t dig it. There’s enough chariot chases, high seas battles and greasy pirates kicking the crap out of each other to fill the hold of a Spanish galleon (yup, I went there).

The Matrix Reloaded (Andy & Larry Wachowski, 2003): Universally lambasted by critics and fans alike, many consider “Reloaded” to be the ruin of the trilogy. In a sense, they’re right, but it’s actually only the last 25 minutes of “Reloaded” that kill the franchise. Everything up until that point (with Neo confronting the Architect), is pure action gold. “Reloaded” is abundant with intense, stylized action. The burly brawl, in which Neo fends off dozens of Agent Smiths; the chateau fight, with Neo wielding all manner of bladed weapon; and the freeway chase, possibly the greatest chase sequence since the desert pursuit in Spielberg’s “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” It’s a great flick if you simply turn it off before the Architect shows up to bury the franchise under the weight of a thousand unanswered questions (and don’t bother with “Revolutions”).

So, there you have it. It feels good to get those off my chest. Though you may get ridiculed for your guilty pleasures, it’s not right to be ashamed of them. They may not be extraordinary pieces of cinematic genius, but we love ‘em anyway.

Oh, and one more thing: I absolutely love "Mortal Kombat."